Awareness

Befuddlement was a term that one might associate with Renji or Ichigo, you know…one of those less then intelligent beings. Those who can seem to struggle to come up with a single thought that even associates with the term smart. These two get confused easily; they don’t think they feel…they are IDIOTS.

Not Hitsugaya Toushirou.

These were not words that one should ever use to describe this individual.

This was a man who was a leader, who was strong, merciless, cold, cunning, and frightfully intelligent. He was a Captain, the youngest one in History of the Gotei 13 and was slowly rising in the ranks to become one who will take the seat from Yamamoto, the Soutaichou of Seireitei. He was a very handsome individual, though a bit short, so he was not only extremely powerful and intelligent he was amazing to look at as well--he was very popular.

Anything he does he gets instantly or he works hard to ensure he gets it and is the best.

He had a major chip on his shoulder and could be a bit of a snob and is a total perfectionist. His short-temper and impatient and close-minded ways were a bit of a black-spot on his card of “Amazingness” though. If only he was a bit kinder he would be just perfect.

But this is beside the point…what this about is Hitsugaya is not a dumb person.  He doesn’t get confused or befuddled or lost or feel stupid.

However, this point wouldn’t be brought up if something hadn’t changed…and what has changed is that the great, grand, godly Hitsugaya has discovered something that has made him very-very confused.

And the cause of this confusion is one girl named Kuchiki Rukia.

Rukia is a fierce and passionate girl. Though her emotions might sometimes cloud her judgment and she can be a naïve and innocent girl she is a woman of nobility, someone who has worked hard for her status and who can come up with strong battle-tactics. Though she does have her little “ditzy” moments, she is definitely not someone one should underestimate.

She was just an amazing girl and also one of his dearest friends.

The two of them have been very good friends since the academy days. Their power of winter called out to each other and they were able to bond instantly. And the years just rolled on by with them getting closer and closer.

Days with her were fun and enjoyable.

Hitsugaya could really feel that he could break out of his shell and actually smile and relax. He doesn’t have to be a perfectionist around her, he didn’t have to feel like he needed to prove to everyone he was worthy of his position--around Rukia he wasn’t Hitsugaya-Taichou…he was just Toushirou.

And that was where the problems were coming from…

Something about her made him feel…different. Things were brighter when he was around her. He was happier when he was around her. The world is just a colorful and mystical place when she was near.

His heart clenched painfully, pounding against his rib-cage, whenever he saw her face. At times he would find it difficult to talk around her, as if he’s lost his vocabulary and can only sputter out incoherent nonsense. He got distracted from his work and his normal routine often because of her presence. He was addicted to the feel and smell of her. He would find himself getting upset and mad at any males she would be buy, huffing at how pitiful they were and that they weren’t worthy of being around the likes of a girl like Rukia.

Things around him just seemed to be break apart around him because of this girl…it was a very dangerous thing.  Now why the HELL did he feel like this?

What was going on that would make him act and feel like this around a person he saw as his best friend?

Why was she affecting him so DRASTICALLY like this? It was affecting everything…including his friendship with this great girl. It seems she was becoming aware of the alteration in his behavior and she was acting weird as well. And that was killing him.

It was as if one day they were the best of friends, one where Rukia would pounce on him and demand a piggy-back ride or where Hitsugaya would spit watermelon-seeds at her and the very next day they would glance at each other, wince slightly, and then run off.

Those comfortable days were gone…and it was all his fault.

And because of this he’s become rather snappish at people around him. Everything Matsumoto did was wrong, everyone was out to get him, and there was no need for him to be kind to others right?

Besides, he found himself not wanting anyone else but Rukia…and for that reason he was all the MORE confused and upset.

The one person he seemed to want to be with was the person he couldn’t be with.

However there was one thing that Hitsugaya didn’t know about his best friend.

And that was this particular girl was suffering some very similar feelings and she was avoiding him not because she sensed some tension with him, but because she couldn’t face him well.

But Rukia was flustered.

The girl was very flustered.

And all because of her good friend Hitsugaya Toushirou.

It was like she had recently become aware of just how incredible he was. He was so handsome and could make her feel so weak-kneed from one glance. Those green eyes of his will just take the breath out of her and leave her woozy and disorientated.

She would daydream about him, finding herself unable to stop giving him shy little glances. Her heart would flutter erratically in her chest like an encaged and terrified butterfly. She would find herself feeling so insecure and finding other girls so much more beautiful and would suit him…and that would bring her so much pain.

Over night she had moved from being a tomboy who was oblivious to many things to all of a sudden was becoming unconsciously more feminine. And she had no idea what to do.

But unlike Hitsugaya she was more aware of her emotions…at least in this occurrence she is.

She had feelings for him. Very strong feelings for him.

As in a crush slinking over to being in-love.

And Rukia is finding herself very frightened of these changes. This was just not something that she was enjoying. Especially over the fact that this could destroy their so close friendship.

It was just killing her and she felt that it was all her fault.

Hitsugaya was not a dense or oblivious person. He was very aware of everything so the girl was positive that he knew that there was something up with her.

And he hasn’t come up to her in a confrontation…which had to mean that he not only didn’t return her feelings he was so uncomfortable that he couldn’t even be around her.

And that just broke her heart.

Had their friendship ended? Was it all over now?

It was just horrible.

What was going to happen to them? Was their friendship completely over with?

Not if Seireitei had anything to say about it.

--

“I’m telling you, it will work.” Matsumoto stated to the soutaichou, looking at him square in the eye. “If we do this they will come back together.”

“But there is a chance it could not work.” The man with the long beard sighed as he looked thoughtful. “What if they don’t speak a word to each other? They can be very stubborn.”

The strawberry-blonde woman shook her head, “No. They’re avoiding each other because they KNOW should they be together long enough one of them will talk to the other and maybe say something embarrassing and ruin their relationship all the more. Trust us; if we put them together they will talk.”

“Hmmm” The leader appeared very tempted before he looked over at Renji and Ukitake. “And you two agree with this?”

They nodded, “We’ve known the both of them a very long time.” Ukitake answered. “Its obvious how they feel for each other and it’s obvious that they will cave in and do something. Especially when alone.”

What Hitsugaya Touhsirou and Kuchiki Rukia hadn’t realized was that they were not the only ones who had noticed the change.

Both have just seemed so down but are too shy and scared to go talk to each other. Hitsugaya was to unaware of what he was feeling and instead of facing it he was actually showing his first act of cowardice but burying himself in work to think about it. And Rukia was becoming to shy and insecure to face him and confess or at least talk about what she was feeling.

And if things didn’t change soon the two winter-buds would be separated forever.

And Seireitei could not accept this.

Rukia helped control Hitsugaya’s temperament and Hitsugaya controlled the rambunctious Rukia. The world was in danger of everyone being killed. They balanced each other out perfectly, they were meant for each other…and no one could accept having their friends so miserable.

So it was decided to give them some help since it was obvious that these two nimrods weren’t going to do a thing.

Over the course of a few months plots were formed, plans forged, and drinking parties held--they can’t work all the time after all--and finally one Matsumoto came up with a brilliant idea; the next Hollow attack held the two will be the ones assigned to go handle it. With this they could at least talk and try to work things out.

Perfect! There were no flaws; it was a solid plan that could not fail.

“Hmmmm,” Yamamoto hummed thoughtfully for a moment. “Agreed.” He nodded. “They will be going on a mission together. I shall set it all up.” The three gave each other a high-five. “Now,” The leader continued “Should we have a back-up plan?”

“Psh no!” Matsumoto huffed smugly. “I’m the queen of matchmaking! None of my genius plans will go wrong! In fact it’s an insult for you to suggest otherwise!!”

The three males sighed at her behavior, “Matsumoto,” Renji frowned, “Have you been drinking?”

“……………maybe………..”

Though the plan sounded good it was not exactly solid…considering the fact that it was forged by Yamamoto, Renji, Matsumoto, and Ukitake…not necessarily the best brains to smush together to think of matchmaking plans.

--

Three weeks after the unknown meeting Hitsugaya and Rukia found themselves side-by-side on the way to the Human World to find and destroy some Hollows that were causing a major stir in some residential areas.

Both were suspicious that something was up. After all, people in their ranks weren’t usually left to do things like this…at least not a captain.

But neither mentioned it to anyone…especially each other.

Stressed and tensed. These were very good words on how to describe the trip to where the attack was located. Neither party could talk to the other, every time they caught the other eyes they would blush, and whenever they accidentally touched both would freak out and jump away from each other--not knowing this reaction has deeply hurt the other.

It was just breaking apart for them.

Both were so distracted…and that is where the problem came from.

“Damn it, Kuchiki!! Pay attention!” Hitsugaya snapped. They hadn’t expected a mini-army of Hollows ready to face them. They were not ready for this…not when they were so distracted by each other. Not when they actually felt emotional and not like Soul Reapers.

“I am!” She spat back, feeling his anxiety and impatience’s affect herself. “Stop ordering me around!” She blocked the large jaw of one of the creatures.

“I’m a captain!! I will order you around as I see fit!!” He growled back, not understanding why he was getting angry at her when he was really furious at himself. It didn’t make sense. Why was he doing this? Why couldn’t he stop himself from sounding so hateful to her?

He didn’t hate her…far from it…he…he…

He shook his head, ‘What am I thinking? I can’t have these thoughts here!’ The chain came out and wrapped around one creature and with a pull it screamed and fell into pieces before disappearing into the air. A curse escaped his lips. ‘If I was in my normal power I would’ve been able to take them all out in one swipe.’ He truly hated hate how his power was cut to that of a fourth-seat.

His green eyes looked over at Rukia who was fighting rather poorly. She has always been a great fighter…why was she acting like this?

Was it because of him?

A wince escaped his lips as that thought came to him. Well she was making him fight poorly. It was like he couldn’t even remember how to catch his breath, let alone slice a sword perfectly.

Where did he go wrong?

Where was it that he began to feel like this?

--“Toushirou…do you think we can be together for ever?”

“Hmm?” He looked down at her, rather surprised at her random question. “Why not?”

She shrugged, “I’ve just seen some friends break apart…”

He ruffled up her hair a bit--always feeling good when he can do it since everyone did it to him. “You shouldn’t worry so much Rukia. This is something that will last. And not only last but get stronger.”

Her big eyes grew wide in happiness, happy he supported her belief and comforted her fear. And that beautiful grin of hers came up, brightening the world.

It hadn’t been his first grin he’s seen but this one seemed to have affected him differently…something about it made his heart leap to his throat. It was like she was she had just become so….gorgeous and bright.

“I love ya Chibi!!” Rukia laughed as she held onto him.

“I’M NOT A CHIBI!!”--

Rukia has always been a very attractive girl…very kind…strong…and then there is the fact that she is so curious about everything…it was so cute. Her quick temper and demanding to be independent almost called out to him so he could protect her.

She was so stubborn, never wanting to be a burden and always wanting to take on everyone’s troubles. If she failed at something she would get mad and do everything in her power to make sure she can get it right eventually….even if she blew up some kitchens because she’s never been taught how to cook--especially in Ichigo’s world and using their appliances.

Every so often she will do a klutzy or ditzy thing despite being a noblewoman--who is stereotyped and forced to be graceful--and being rather mature…

And it was nice when they cuddled up together and looked at stars…how she seemed to just FIT in his arms. How perfect and warm and happy he constantly felt around her…

But…all of this was…kinda nice…b-but that didn’t instantly mean he…he…lo--

“TOUSHIROU!!” He heard Rukia scream.

He blinked dully before he realized too late that he had completely blanked out stopped moving during a battle. And that there was about to be a great pain…he just couldn’t seem to move. His body just felt sluggish.

“MOVE!!” He heard his beloved--his beloved?--Rukia cry out before a petite body slammed against his own and shove him away.

He’s heard the sound of Hollow teeth ripping the flesh of Shinigami many times…but it’s never been this clear and this horrifying…

Those pearly whites were in Rukia’s side, tossing her around, prepared to bite clean through.

“NOOO!!” Hitsugaya roared and like that he was aware of everything. Of the world, of his power, of the enemies, of Rukia, of his feelings…

Adrenaline, fury, and terror pumped through his blood and he found himself seeing red…when he was able to see past the red Hollow that Rukia and the others were dead and beginning to disappear.

He was panting as he looked around, for a brief moment a bit confused as to where he was and what happened…but at the sight of Rukia in a pool of her own blood on the ground was enough to wake him up.

“Rukia!!” He cried out rushing to her side, gently picking her up ignoring the blood that was staining his captain’s cloak. He held on tightly to her, whispering comforting and soothing words into her ear, pleading that she held on. “Rukia…please…please…”

He was panting in pain as he wrapped his captain’s robe tightly around her, praying that her wound was not as serious as it appeared.

There was so much blood.

“T-Toushirou….it’s ok….” Rukia winced, her side hurting horribly, she could feel the thick glops of blood hitting the ground under her and making a sticky pool.

“No its not…you’re hurt…” Hitsugaya whimpered, pulling up against him, his hand pressed tightly against her wound. “And it’s all my fault.”

“No, no, no…” Rukia hissed out, maneuvering her body a bit. “It’s not your fault…Its mine…really and its not so bad…I’ve had worse.”

“You could’ve been killed.” He spat, furious at his weakness. “What…what would I have done…what…you…” His very world, his very life, very nearly shattered before him. When he saw those teeth clamp tightly on the woman’s side and shake her around he died a bit inside.

He never knew how much this girl meant to him.

She was his best friend, yes…and recently he’s noticed that there are other feelings besides friendship he had for this girl. Having her in this position, slathered in her own blood, after taking a hit for him…

It made all the confusion break apart and he understood completely.

“I love you.” He whispered as he scooped her up, not planning on letting her go anytime soon. He would take her to be healed, be there as she gets better, and be there when she is well…he will never be able to let her go after this…not after he nearly lost her and not after he realized just how mush he loves her. Hitsugaya wasn’t even sure if he would be able to ever have her leave his side.

Rukia looked at him in confusion, the words unable to fully enter her head. But once they did her dark violet eyes went wide, “W-What?”

“I love you,” He sighed. “Pathetic that I had to become aware of this as you are getting wounded.”

“Psh, wounded--I was getting eaten for dinner.” Rukia scoffed playfully, feeling a bit better as the blood began to clot and her powers subsiding from battle and turning around to heal the body that contained them.

“Not funny.” He growled, nuzzling into her as he hurried back to Seireitei where she could be properly healed. “And where the hell is “I love you too”?” He glared down at her, earning a pout.

“Well that would be too cliché if I tell you I loved you back so easily. Boy and girl are confused about their feelings, they fight enemy, girl sees boy getting attacked, realizes she loves him, gets chomped on to protect him, boy sees girls getting made into dinner, loves her, she’s hurt, he confesses, she confesses, tears are shared and fin.” She scrunched her nose up, “I don’t do that.”

He rolled his eyes, “You are so weird.”

“Am not!” She stuck her tongue out at him. “I’m unique. I’m a delicate unique little snowflake.”

“A flake is right,” Hitsugaya grunted, his heart beginning to calm down from its initial panic attack. The wound wasn’t very serious, at least for a girl like Rukia. His affection for her had blinded him to that fact…just her being hurt in the slightest was enough to make him nauseated in fear and panic.

“Hey!!” Rukia hissed dangerously.

The man carrying her just smirked slightly and then bent down and kissed her lips softly. “Say you love me too.”

Her cheeks colored slightly in embarrassment, “Make me.”

He grinned dangerously at the challenge, “That can be done.”

Rukia paled, when will she learn to never push this man?

“BITE ME!!….OWWW!! YOU BIT ME!!”

Apparently never.

But it will be a really fun time…finally the confusion has evaporated at the shine of love has been seen….and yes, that is a very cheesy explanation, but its true…the life these two will share will be brilliant and completely imperfect, and that will be how they like it.